


I Smell Queer

by amberxwrites



Series: EastEnders Oneshots [1]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M, Oops, Rewritten Scene, aint nothing wrong with that, gotta admit this scene was fit, lowkey obsessed with ballum, shipping a couple from a show i've never watched, so i made them, the ending should've been canon, they should've snogged, we love a bit of gay, whitney is only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:48:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28568742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberxwrites/pseuds/amberxwrites
Summary: A rewritten version of Ben figuring out Callum is gay.Only this time, it ends with a snog.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: EastEnders Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093253
Kudos: 28





	I Smell Queer

**Author's Note:**

> i don't watch the show so i have no context of the car stuff aha

I couldn't deny that I was expecting him to pay me a visit sooner or later.

I'd rather it have been later though.

I groaned when I heard the knock on the door, dragging myself off the sofa and down the hallway, Whitney's new boyfriend practically bursting through the door.

"You alright mate?"

"I'm not your mate." He seethed.

Now, I didn't know Callum all that well. But from what little I had seen of him, I knew he was a relatively nice guy. And I knew he had a valid reason to be angry with me right now.

"I could get charged for handling stolen goods."  


I rolled my eyes, turning my back towards him and heading back into the living room.

He followed me.

"No you won't. I've sorted it." I told him.

"What do you mean, you've sorted it?"

"I've dealt with it. I've spoken to them and they ain't gonna bother you again."

He let out a laugh, a breath of disbelief as he put two and two together.

"You know it was stolen, didn't you?"

I grinned, risking a cheeky wink in his direction.

"It's always best not to ask questions."

He glared at me and I sighed.

"Oh, come on mate. You've been around the block a few times, ey? Surely you knew it had some history. Otherwise why would it be so cheap?"

"I thought you were doing me a favour!"

I chuckled. "Okay. Alright, alright, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you got pulled over and you had to spend some time in the cop house and I- I promise it won't happen to you again, okay?"

He sent me a look.

"Will you give me my money back?"

I grimaced. "Mmh, that's gonna be a no."

He scoffed and I raised my hands in surrender.

"Check the receipt. Bought as seen. No refunds."

"But it was stolen!"

I just pulled a face, him shaking his head in disbelief. I squinted in his direction, sensing him getting worked up.

I could have some fun with this.

"Oh no." I took a step closer, smirking at him. "You're not gonna open a vain, are ya?"

I didn't know how he react but I definitely wasn't expecting him to shove me backwards into the door. Gripping the front of my shirt, he pinned me against the wood. Our faces were inches apart and if I hadn't been so focused on displaying my smug grin, I probably wouldn't have noticed the way he glanced down.

The smile fell from my lips and I sucked in a breath. I didn't want to jump to conclusions as he could've just as easily been looking down at the position we were in.

But when he did it again, I knew he was glancing at my lips.

I tried to hold back another smile, letting out a few gasps before leaning in.

He looked scared. Confused.

I pretended to sniff him, letting out a breathy laugh as I met his gaze once again.

Staring into his eyes, I saw how lost he was. It reminded me of myself.

Lost.

In denial.

Too fucking far in the closet.

Despite him reminding me of myself, it didn't stop me from being a teasing little shit.

Letting the corners of my mouth lift slightly, I looked him in the eyes and whispered,   


"I smell queer."

He let go of my shirt as fast as he possible could, stumbling backwards with wide eyes. I tried to piece it together in my mind, his reaction doing nothing but confirming my theories.

"And suddenly it all falls into place." I muttered, mainly to myself.

He was staring at me with so much fear in his eyes, on the verge of tears. He lifted his arm to wipe away the tears with his sleeve.

I took a step closer. "I understand. I've been there myself."

"Shut up." He snapped, taking a step back.

"You like blokes." I announced, readily anticipating the reaction I knew I was going to get.

Denial.

"No I don't. I ain't nothing like that. You've got it wrong."

His voice was weak, yet simultaneously full of emotion. I could tell he was close to a breakdown and I felt bad for him.

"I've got a girlfriend." He weakly defended.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I've got a daughter. Mate, it's-"

"Nah, I'm not your mate. I'm nothing like you!"

"So what?" I shouted, silencing him for just a moment.

"You like blokes. You like girls." I smirked. "I guess that's why they call you Halfway."

He lifted his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes. I observed his actions before deciding to push him to his limit.

God knows why. I was asking for a slap.

"I bet you loved the army though, mate ey? Same as me in prison. All the, hotties having communal showers. All that built up testosterone. I bet you was very popular-"

"Shut up!"

He punched me. Of course he did.

I would've punched me.

Luckily for me, my general lifestyle had left me numb to being hit so it didn't make much of an impact. It did send me flying backwards into the sofa though, blood trickling down from my nose.

He towered over me, fists clenched and face scrunched in anger.

And all I could do was laugh.

"Ow." I giggled, lifting my hand up to wipe away some of the blood.

"That hurt."

I spared a glance in his direction, the man even closer to crying than he was before.

Why couldn't I just take pity on him?

I propped myself up on the sofa, leaning towards him with another shit-eating grin. "Wanna kiss it better?"

He went to leave and I let out yet another laugh.

"Call me sometime!" I shouted after him.

I waited to hear the door slam shut, but it never happened.

It was silent.

Almost as though he had never left.

I peeked one eye open, snapping it shut again as soon as he grabbed my cheeks and smashed his lips against mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back straight away. His hands stayed on my face, one sliding backwards into my hair. He tugged on it slightly and I groaned.

I instantly slipped my tongue in, biting his lip as we made out.

It was hot. It was fierce. It was urgent.

There was surprisingly no hesitation from his side.

Well, that was until he realised what he was doing.

He shoved me back into the sofa, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, and furiously wiping his lips as he ran for it.

Seconds later, the door slammed shut.  


**Author's Note:**

> follow me on wattpad @randys_sidechick


End file.
